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Tossing Pebbles in the Stream

This blog is my place to sit and toss pebbles into the stream. The stream of Life relentlessly passing before us. We can affect it little. For the most part I just watch it passing and follow the flow. Occasionally, I need to comment on its passing, tossing a pebble at it to enjoy the ripple affect upon Life's surface.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

HOLD ON!

Only in the last year have I been able to get American TV channels (being too cheap to pay for what I think one should be free to capture off of the airwaves). It is with some fascination that I have watched and realized Canadian and American TV reflects the differences in our cultures.
I actually have been keeping notes to write a longer blog entry on this but I cannot resist this one, small difference.

I am struck by the incessant ads dealing with ED. Yes, that scourge for all older men, erectile dysfunction. (or so they would have us believe.) These ads for several products to cure this condition fill the American airwaves but do not appear on Canadian TV. It is not that we are a modest lot or never suffer from this condition, it is that in Canada direct marketing to consumers for prescription drugs is not allowed.

These ads are as annoying as the ones for "female sanitary products", for which I also have no need. When they created the Woman's Network I hoped they would disappear off the free channel. Perhaps, the ED ads could move to the Men's Channel ( I almost added Sports Channel, how sexist is that)and give us all a rest, from being reminded if our present of eventual failings. Not likely!

Many times a day we are reminded that we are getting older and our bodies are not as responsive as they used to be. Any yet, they claim, we can be young and virile, (in an aging body) if we only take their product. You don't even have to take it just before doing "IT". The medication can be taken well in advance and last for several hours to be counted upon when the moment is just right. Sounds wonderful!

Then come the warnings.! if your erection last longer than four hours. . . . . .
Is this a problem? It seems it makes you feel too young, you are 17 again. Get a grip you used to know how to handle this without a doctor's help. What could she do anyway!

This obsession on American TV with male sexual function makes one wonder if this is really such a wide American problem. If it is; does it go some way to explain American love of guns. These too come in all sizes and calibers. They are forever rigid and at the ready. All one has to do is love them, keep them clean, load them at will and they will go off with just a gentle squeeze to everyones fright and delight. Hummm! makes one wonder.

Well here is the good news. ED is not the biggest male sexual problem. PE is. Yes, premature ejacualation is the biggest male dysfuction, (According to the questionaire I just finished. LiveScience.com : Trivia & Quizzes - Science Fact or Fiction LiveScience ) It seems this is a secret. It seems we want to talk about this even less than ED. To return to our gun analogy, it is like always shooting ourselves in the foot, or accidentally discharging our weapon at the Bush. (Don't send the Secret Service this is a double entendre not a triple entendre.) Horror of horrors we might do a Dick Cheney and shoot a friend. We even see this on the battle field where for every Iraqi kill, 300,000 rounds have been fired, How premature is that!

This could be a whole new market for drug companies. I suggest the new product be a rubbed on lotion entitled "HOLD ON". ( Remember you read it here first, I want a royalty)Is this not an ad man's dream. Think of the copy you could write:

When dreaming of far off places doesn't do it just wipe on "HOLD ON".

When it is out of hand, and the little woman needs time, "HOLD ON" is the answer.

Save on laundry, use "HOLD ON".

When you just want explore in the bush, "HOLD ON" is a man's best friend.

For the last line of defensive birth control, depend on double strength "HOLD ON".

Never have to say, OOPS, Damn or Sorry at those intimate moments, HOLD ON" works.

To love her fully, "HOLD ON".

. . . . . . . . . .Well, I am sure you can write your own copy.



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I know some who read this blog are gardeners. This is for you in case you thought the Redneck jokes did not apply in your case. You Know You're a Redneck Gardener When.... -

10 Comments:

At 1:12 PM, Blogger KGMom said...

What is there to say? I think you covered it all!
But, I do agree with you--the inane fixation with ED is most annoying. We even had a former presidential candidate--Bob Dole--shilling for the product a while back.
Here's the real kicker for me--some of our esteemed health insurance companies RUSHED to pay for Viagra, but were denying paying for birth control pills! Thankfully, women and thinking men protested, and health insurance companies reversed their draconian stupid policy--at least on this score.

 
At 7:03 PM, Blogger Anvilcloud said...

Get a grip there, Philip.

 
At 10:24 AM, Blogger Gattina said...

I had to laugh when I read what you said about American TV ! It's so true!! When I first visited my aunt in Madison/Wisc and watched TV there for the first time (it was in 1971) I just couldn't believe it. Later it didn't get any better even worse ! There is a big difference between European and American TV probably more like the Canadian or Australian one.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

European TV makes American TV look like we're puritans. :)

Yeah, I hate all those ads. Now there's a new one for Viagara that has a group of "older" guys sitting around playing guitar and singing about the pills. GACK!

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger thailandchani said...

Brilliant! I'm so glad I came by to see this blog...

And I also like your "No deep integration with the USA" badge. The USA is not an example to be emulated.

:)

Peace,

~Chani
http://thailandgal.blogspot.com

 
At 2:59 PM, Blogger judie said...

LOL. Now HOLD ON there, Phillip. Or as Anvilcloud says....Get a Grip! LOLOLOLOL Good post! I agree with your thoughts on the stupidity of the advertising. I'd really rather see the dumb blond angel up there sitting on a cloud eating cream cheese and jelly.

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger Paul said...

We Americans don't have ED problems -- at least we didn't until the drug companies saw a chance to create a perceived need to make another fortune. It's called free enterprise and marketing. We're trying to export these concepts to the rest of the world under the names of freedom and democracy.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger paris parfait said...

This is a very funny piece. Sadly, those ads and ads for other medical products are rampant in the US. When I went there last year to visit my daughter, I could barely stand to watch television, because of the mad ads. I wish they would ban ads for prescription drugs, as well as ads for political candidates in the US.

 
At 1:17 AM, Blogger Alyssa said...

You had me laughing out loud reading this. I agree that these commecials are annoying and you can tell that the big drug companies have WAY too much money to spend on ads. Some are done so poorly that I'm snickering though the whole thing. The "female" products are also an intrusion into viewing time. And I can see how they can be pretty embarassing to some people.

Your product sounds like a winner! Truthfully, I wonder why the big drug companies haven't thought of it. Maybe they have - we'll see in a few years.

Very funny!!

 
At 4:56 PM, Blogger Navigator said...

That business about having a four hour erection and calling your doctor always made me laugh. My doctor would be my second call, the first would be to the Guiness Book of World Records. I don't know why PE would be a problem. I always found that thinking about Richard Nixon at the moment before climax tended to cause a long delay in the process -- sufficient for her nibness anyway.

 

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