Only in the last year have I been able to get American TV channels (being too cheap to pay for what I think one should be free to capture off of the airwaves). It is with some fascination that I have watched and realized Canadian and American TV reflects the differences in our cultures.
I actually have been keeping notes to write a longer blog entry on this but I cannot resist this one, small difference.
I am struck by the incessant ads dealing with ED. Yes, that scourge for all older men, erectile dysfunction. (or so they would have us believe.) These ads for several products to cure this condition fill the American airwaves but do not appear on Canadian TV. It is not that we are a modest lot or never suffer from this condition, it is that in Canada direct marketing to consumers for prescription drugs is not allowed.
These ads are as annoying as the ones for "female sanitary products", for which I also have no need. When they created the Woman's Network I hoped they would disappear off the free channel. Perhaps, the ED ads could move to the Men's Channel ( I almost added Sports Channel, how sexist is that)and give us all a rest, from being reminded if our present of eventual failings. Not likely!
Many times a day we are reminded that we are getting older and our bodies are not as responsive as they used to be. Any yet, they claim, we can be young and virile, (in an aging body) if we only take their product. You don't even have to take it just before doing "IT". The medication can be taken well in advance and last for several hours to be counted upon when the moment is just right. Sounds wonderful!
Then come the warnings.! if your erection last longer than four hours. . . . . .
Is this a problem? It seems it makes you feel too young, you are 17 again. Get a grip you used to know how to handle this without a doctor's help. What could she do anyway!
This obsession on American TV with male sexual function makes one wonder if this is really such a wide American problem. If it is; does it go some way to explain American love of guns. These too come in all sizes and calibers. They are forever rigid and at the ready. All one has to do is love them, keep them clean, load them at will and they will go off with just a gentle squeeze to everyones fright and delight. Hummm! makes one wonder.
Well here is the good news. ED is not the biggest male sexual problem. PE is. Yes, premature ejacualation is the biggest male dysfuction, (According to the questionaire I just finished. LiveScience.com : Trivia & Quizzes - Science Fact or Fiction LiveScience ) It seems this is a secret. It seems we want to talk about this even less than ED. To return to our gun analogy, it is like always shooting ourselves in the foot, or accidentally discharging our weapon at the Bush. (Don't send the Secret Service this is a double entendre not a triple entendre.) Horror of horrors we might do a Dick Cheney and shoot a friend. We even see this on the battle field where for every Iraqi kill, 300,000 rounds have been fired, How premature is that!
This could be a whole new market for drug companies. I suggest the new product be a rubbed on lotion entitled "HOLD ON". ( Remember you read it here first, I want a royalty)Is this not an ad man's dream. Think of the copy you could write:
When dreaming of far off places doesn't do it just wipe on "HOLD ON".
When it is out of hand, and the little woman needs time, "HOLD ON" is the answer.
Save on laundry, use "HOLD ON".
When you just want explore in the bush, "HOLD ON" is a man's best friend.
For the last line of defensive birth control, depend on double strength "HOLD ON".
Never have to say, OOPS, Damn or Sorry at those intimate moments, HOLD ON" works.
To love her fully, "HOLD ON".
. . . . . . . . . .Well, I am sure you can write your own copy.
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I know some who read this blog are gardeners. This is for you in case you thought the Redneck jokes did not apply in your case. You Know You're a Redneck Gardener When.... -