A Sad But Necessary, Goodbye
The above picture is the last one of Veronica with me. Shortly after this she left to return to her home in Alabama. I was sad to see her go and told her to the end she did not have to go. She felt she did. We continued to disagree on the prospect of getting married. She wanted to immediately: I wanted to resolve important issues in a process that would take time before making such a decision. If she was too impulsive: I was perhaps too cautious.
I shall remember our times together with great affection. Our daily lives and expectations of each other were quite compatible. Knowing her has enriched my life and helped me to refocus my life that was adrift. For now, this seems to remain. As I said last time she left, "She got out and I got on with it." For the short term I have things I want to accomplish around the farm and animals to care for which give me pleasure and satisfaction. Going through life alone is not a new experience for me. I shall be doing it again for the foreseeable future.
The occasion of the above picture was the wedding in my library of mutual friends of ours. Veronica was very fond of the bride and the groom was a friend and co worker over the years. I am sure Veronica watched this modest casual wedding and wished it was her and I marrying. I was aware she had brought a wedding dress with her this trip and just before the wedding she showed me a lovely peasant style head dress she would have worn at her wedding.
I wish Veronica had worn her Amish simple dress on this occasion. With my outfit we might have been viewed an Amish farm couple. Me with my suspenders and collarless shirt and her in her bonnet, long modest dress and apron. My full beard and the fancy darts in my pants would indicate we are not that couple. Amish men shave off their moustaches as they are seem as symbols of warriors. (It seems nearly every Iraqi man under Saddam had a handsome moustache. . . .Interesting!)
I hold the Amish in high regard along with most of the Christians in the Anababtist tradition. The peace churches with their modest humble view of the Christian life which emphasized the Beatitudes as well as the Ten Commandments, is so much more satisfying that the Calvinist "fire and brimstone" tradition. If I had not become a Unitarian (which I believe shares some tradition with the Anababtist as well as historic Calvinist roots, now rejected) I probably would have found a spiritual home among Quaker Friends. My time with Veronica was a time i revisited some of these issues of religion. The deserve regular revisiting.